Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
