i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
