You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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