ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
