what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
