I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
