Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
