I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
