How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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