We're facebook friends in real life
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
