dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
