you win again, gameday.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
