last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
