Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
