I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
