also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
as a side note pls kill me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
