i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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