her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
