There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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