Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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