He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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