I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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