We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
