Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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