lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
