i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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