Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
