We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
