you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
