There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
