Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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