I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You are a genius and a whore.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
