you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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