We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
