Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
