I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
