Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
