She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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