But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
