apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
thus making me awesome and them whores
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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