i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
