last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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