Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
