Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we should paint friendship bongs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
