I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
