i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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