Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
