i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I need a beard to bite.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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