So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
