I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
