so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
