i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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