i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
