In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
