he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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