For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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